Today is one of those days that is hard to smile. I keep telling myself to be strong. Worse things have happened, but sometimes you need to be down which leads to my over-thinking and writing it out.

Normally, I would spill my heart out on a sheet of paper never to be seen by another sole. That isn’t what I am looking for though. I am looking to feel alive. I am just like every other 22-year-old trying to find their way in this world after college. It’s different and hard to be away from people you love as you all end up scattered around the country.

It’s hard to have the comfort taken from you. The walk is scary and stressful and it is easy to lose yourself on that journey. It is EASY to run and hid. It is EASY to become scared of growing up, but I have always been “beyond my years.” I have always looked to the future and tried to find people that compliment my path to success.

The problem with that is sometimes you let the people who mean the most to you forget that they mean anything at all. I forget that I need to remind people how special they are and important. I make mistakes. We all do. Sometimes these mistakes twist and turn your path into things you weren’t expecting.

So here I am. Trying to lift my head and smile, to not be defeated by pain. I am trying to fill the holes that I didn’t know existed. As today I am thankful for the people who listen to my cries, pains and troubles I am also fearful of what I am losing.  So today I leave you with advice that I wish I could scream from the tops of mountains for all to hear:

 “Be mindful what you toss away, be careful what you push away, and think hard before walking away.”

I also ask for everyone to take a moment and be proud of who they are no matter where their journey has taken them and no matter how hard the path may get keep your head high.

“I am confident because I can admit who I am, what I’ve done, and love myself for who I’ve become.”

I will find my smile again. I have smiled today, but for now the dark side wins. It happens and sometimes we have to accept that.

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