I often find I ask too many questions and over think almost all of my actions, but this past week and a half has really knocked me off my feet.

It’s as if my whole world exploded and I’m scrambling to grab the pieces, praying I remember where they all go.

I feel I’ve gone through a fair bit of rough patches in my life, but this one is so unique, so unfamiliar.

I couldn’t imagine any of this happening, each blow came just as shocking as the one before. I pray all the time. I feel His answers, I swear I do, but then I question if what I feel is simply what I want to happen. What if I’m only fooling myself?

I recal verse upon verse saying for me to trust the Lord and to accept what he’s saying, but I keep getting pulled back into what-ifs.

I need courage and strength, but really I would give all mine away right now to my mom and family. I need wisdom and guidence, but again I would give it all away to the person I think needs it.

Life and death, it makes you reconsider what is important and it certainly makes you realize who is
important. It really makes you realize what you’ll be okay with and what you just won’t accept.

So again I send out my ramble…

Today I am smiling for my family, in good and bad health.

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